when i wake up the real nightmare begins

Wed, 02 Jan 2008 04:24:18 GMT

damn man,
what a shitty way to start the new year....

Mon, 27 Aug 2007 04:39:29 GMT

hello out there in livejournal land.
haven't been on here in a while.
anyways life's pretty sweet right now.
a lot of positive shit going on in my life right now which i'm severly thankful for.
still unsure of a lottttttt of shit right now. all i know is i have a loooot of amazing friends that i would give anything for.
o yeah! and it was my birthday today.had some amazing people over
katie bought me a new fucking mattress! < 3 and my parents bought me a wii!!!

"sing like you think no one's listening"

Sat, 14 Jul 2007 21:38:22 GMT

You're running rampant through me
Infecting everything
My eyes are red, and I'm scared to death
You don't know what you're doing

This is my call to arms
And I have waited for too long

Maybe I'll never quit
Maybe you never meant a single thing you said
Well I've grown so sick of this
Confusion fills my head
And I'm dripping with regret
I do feel better if you never knew just how I felt
How I felt
Never knew just how I felt

Does he shake you like I shook you?
And how much do his words weigh?
Is he underneath you fingertips where I used to lay?
Do his lips taste like forever as you said mine did?
We were young, that's how it goes

My eyes are filled with tears
My hands are to my head
I know you're happy now
In someone else's bed
My patience wearing thin
And I can't make sense of this
All I want is to be over you

I just need to know
So tell me

Does he shake you like I shook you?
And how much do his words weigh?
Is he underneath you fingertips where I used to lay?
Do his lips taste like forever as you said mine did?
We were young that's how it goes

And when I dream you everynigh
You break my heart but it's alright
Inebriated by your sight
Now this is the fight of my life

THIS IS THE FIGHT OF MY LIFE

All we had is dead and gone

Wed, 11 Jul 2007 05:37:32 GMT

gahhhhhhhhhh why won't my realatives leaveeeeeeee?

life!

Sun, 08 Jul 2007 07:27:55 GMT

is so lifelike lately.
of course it makes sense to me.
i hope the mistakes i've made don't actually end up being mistakes...
i love being a teen..
reguardless i'm really happy where i'm at but i know it won't stay long and i have a feeling it'll be my fault.
in fact ....i know it.
"anyone will do tonight"

Tue, 26 Jun 2007 06:21:07 GMT

i fucking hate that my life's so much like dawson's creek.

i'm so unsure of everything

FUCK!

Mon, 25 Jun 2007 07:13:19 GMT

Sad, small, sweet, so delicate
We used to be this dying breed
I got a bad feeling about this
I got a bad feeling about this

You kept still until the long drive home
You slept safe and close to the window...
I got a bad feeling about this
I got a bad feeling about...

Who's to say you'll have to go (I could go all night)
Well say you'll have to go (I could go all...)
To hell with you and all your friends
To hell with you and all your friends, it's on

Sad, small, sure in porcelain
You're skin and bones, I'm a nervous wreck
I got a bad feeling about this (when it comes to this)
I got a bad feeling about this

You kept still until the long drive home
You slept safe and close to the window
I got a bad feeling about this
I got a bad feeling about...

Who's to say you'll have to go (I could go all night)
Well say you'll have to go (I could go all...)
To hell with you and all your friends
To hell with you and all your friends, it's on

I got a bad feeling about this (what is this for?)
I got a bad feeling about...

Anyone will do tonight
Anyone will do tonight
Close your eyes, just settle, settle
Close your eyes, just settle, settle
Anyone will do tonight
Anyone will do tonight
Close your eyes, just settle, settle
Close your eyes, just settle, settle
Anyone (anyone) will do tonight
Anyone (anyone) will do tonight
Close your eyes, just settle, settle
Close your eyes, just settle, settle

Well I got a bad feeling about this,
I got a bad feeling about this (to hell with you and all your friends, it's on).
I'm coming over but it never was enough
I thought it through and my worst brings out the best in you
Well I got a bad feeling about this
I got a bad feeling about this (to hell with you and all your friends, it's on)
I'm coming over but it never was enough
I thought it through and my worst brings out the best in you
Well I got a bad feeling about this
I got a bad feeling about this (to hell with you and all your friends, it's on)
I'm coming over but it never was enough,
I thought it through and my worst brings out the best in you
Well I got a bad feeling about this,
I got a bad feeling about this (in you...).
I'm coming over but it never was enough,
I thought it through and my worst brings out the best in you
I got a bad feeling about this,
I got a bad feeling about this (in you...).
I'm coming over but it never was enough
I thought it through and my worst brings out the best in you
I got a bad feeling about this,
I got a bad feeling about this,
I got a bad feeling about this (I am you)
I got a bad feeling about this (I am you)
I got a bad feeling about this (I am you)
I got a bad feeling about this (I am you)
I got it bad (I am you)
I got it bad
I got it bad
I got it bad
I got it bad
I got it bad

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 22:49:43 GMT

i'm so unsure of so many things in my life right now.
the only thing i'm sure of is that i need a fucking job!
i need to get out of this place.
a lot of band shit has to change too.
i wish our lead singer would actually give us the time of day or fucking talk to us every once in a while...
BUT that's the veryveryvery least of my problems right now....
and yet 3 months ago that was all i really had to fret about.

woooo gotta love that teen angst huh kids?

god i love "a perfect circle"

Mon, 28 May 2007 07:00:49 GMT

a lot of things about me are different now.
my mindset is very more ...excepting so to speak.
i'm done with shallow uncaring thoughts.
i'm done with malice and hate.
all i ask for is acceptance...

nerdy...

Wed, 09 May 2007 07:00:15 GMT

i miss "silent desperation." it actually kinda hit me tonight while i was reading adams fucking incredible lyrics and i got a little down.
sux big time because we really were an amazing band and i really was proud of the music we created. life goes on i guess.

i'm almost excited to go back to school... yeah i know, weren't expecting that one.
i realized i haven't been listening to as much reallllly heavy stuff lately which is a little weird, it almost feels like i'm growing up and it's kind of depressing or intreguing i guess i'll be the judge sooner or later.

on another note.
while i was typing the song i was listening to i thought about how much the lyrics to "nerdy" explained the feelings i had for a certain person i was kind of stunned in a way.
then i thought about how long ago that was...

"sleep on portraits painted as perfect as you..."

Thu, 03 May 2007 05:03:24 GMT

today was deffinately a step in the right direction.
i signed up for next semester at mcc
i'm pretty sure i'm going to major in philosophy.
i also applied at hot topic, haha which i'll prolly be working there.
man i've been getting drunk wayyyyy too much lately which i think i'll tone that down a bit for a while.
sooooo the practice space went out with a bang last night
i hung out with karp, ruben, chris, tucker, DANNY ORSA!, ben, jonny, and big wo.
we drank a handle of southern comfort and jager. and we were all pretty wasted.
we brayn almost got raped by a creepy prostitute. we hung with the guy's and gal from FxUxCxK which is always fun. tonnnnns of amazing pictures were taken.

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 07:11:13 GMT

lately
i feel very empty.

Thu, 19 Apr 2007 18:09:27 GMT

me and bryan just played russian roulette.
just for fun.

i been gone a long time

Thu, 19 Apr 2007 04:22:31 GMT

yeahhhhh
i've got a computer again. hooray i guess
too much drama lately but whatever i'm not worried about nothing.
wooooo another bar-b-que on sunday i'm super stoked.

Wed, 11 Apr 2007 01:14:59 GMT

sooooooo
one of my band's "silent desperation" is on hiatis as of now. i'm pretty sad about it because i'm not sure if we'll actually play again due to the fact of only having one guitar player now (me) sooooo i'm super bummed.
at least i'm going on tour this summer with "he writes no lies" which should be ucking intense.
only thing i have to look forward to right now.

Fri, 06 Apr 2007 05:00:23 GMT

if anyone wants to see my ass scoot on over to shaena's elljay haha!

Mon, 26 Mar 2007 01:28:35 GMT

just knowing i could have is almost 100% better

"it turns us on to turn you down"
last night was pretty fresh.

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 17:26:48 GMT

wow
some people just need to know the facts before they get in over their head.
bo-tards

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 08:36:49 GMT

faaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkeeeeeeeeee

goodbye to sleep

Thu, 22 Mar 2007 08:59:35 GMT

i should be exausted.
but it never fails,
lie awake for an hour or so and yet again no progress.
sooooo today i've gone from feeling like the mom in requiem for a dream, to edward norton in fight club.
my brother is annoying the fucking shit out of me right now...like, so bad. (shinfo)
i've noticed that my impeccable grammar has greatly been reduced to rubble since i've been letting my brain rot out of school. slightly depressing.
i wonder if anyone hates the thoughts that seem to seep into your head before you lull off into "sleepy land" as much as i do. or maybe it's just that i let people get to me too much. fuggin ay this is lammmmeee.
on a lighter note
about an hour ago i was walking by a mirror and it looked like and octopus was latched onto my head

th end

Wed, 21 Mar 2007 19:16:49 GMT

wow
i feel just like the mom on requiem for a dream
"ay mah are you on uppahz mah? you are aren't you"

Wed, 21 Mar 2007 03:15:06 GMT

sooo
i've got a membership at the gym again, yes!
me and bryan are going at least 3 times a week and drinking protein shakes.
we also bought some hydroxycut for shits and giggles.
i'm sooooooo stoked
i can still bench 205 which i'm really suprised about.
wooo

Sat, 17 Mar 2007 08:25:32 GMT

soooooooo. the show was so much fucking fun tonight.
we got so many props and stuff. it kinda sux that everyone left after we played but whatev, it's kinda flattering.
we broke maverick's mosh virginity
much love to karp, mav, jerry, zeke, fucking everyone who came and fucked shit up on the ground while we fucked shit up on stage/on the ground.
soooooo much fun.
anyways "he writes no lies" is hopefully going on tour this summer which could go one of two ways haha. either way it's gunna be rediculous.

got in another really big fight with the mother, i actually almost left this time...
but the harsh reality of it is, is the fact of being so dependent on money! it sucks big time.
well on a depressing note. me jon and mav were just watching american pie on usa and it almost made me miss high school.
i'll never actually miss high school but i'll definately miss certain parts... a lot
it made me feel super old and like such a loser. i guess i just wish high school was like the movies.
it's time for mikey to start taking life seriously guys.
sad but true.

HATE TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO!

Thu, 15 Mar 2007 08:12:36 GMT

ok.... so i guess it's bash andrew week or something.
however i completly agree but he's probabaly eating all of this up sooooo much because any attention is good enough for kids like him.
honestly i don't understand why you guys have wasted so much energy on such an empty person.
i find so much humor in this becuase no matter how much we write in our little ell-jays it will never even fall upon his superXcore gaged ears.

at the end of the day, every party eventually ends and he'll realize all that he's lost and it will hurt more than he ever hurt any of us.
sooo get over that bo-tard
i did just about a year ago this month when he stabbed me in the back.
at least now i don't have to act like i care because of my friends

man this post could go on forever but i just really don't care enough, because just like always i don't care at all what happens to andrew i just care that he's still hurting the people i love which is bullshit.
however, if he even does read this, i hope he cries himself to sleep for the rest of his life
yeah... way harsh but the truth hurts right?

ON A LIGHTER NOTE!

i've got everything i need and the more i think about it, i honestly couldn't be happier.
i shouldn't be making post's about how much i hate a certain person but how much i truly love the people i care about.
love you guys.

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 06:14:36 GMT

i'm soooo fucking stoked that the fair is almost here!
i still don't have a fucking job...
life is pretty steady i guess, about half and half.
man it's weird to see how some people can be so socially incapable and selfish. people like that should be drowned in public.
it's getting harder for me to sleep lately than ever, i hate it so much. it's probably just being too thoughtful and nervous that my life is fleeting away from me and all i can do is watch it slip farther and farther away from my grasp.
yeah life sux.
i'm done with drinking for a while too.